7 Things Bellatrix Black Hates About Hogwarts
by highwayrose
Summary: Bellatrix Black hates Hogwarts... but why? A chronicle of her loathings from the petty insignificance of a 1st year to the dark, lustdriven angst of 7th year. Femmeslash warning, but only slight AliceLongbottomBellatrix


Disclaimer: Bellatrix, Frank, & Alice all belong to the great J.K. I play with them, that's all.

Please review! Femmeslash is unfamiliar territory. If it's all good, I'll camp out here for a while (: Criticism appreciated. Flamers are not. Unless this really sucks...

**7 Things Bellatrix Lestrange Hates About Hogwarts**:

_1. House Colours_

Bellatrix hates red and gold.

The colours of Gryffindor House are bright and showy, and seem to bleed into each other, making Bella's eyes hurt. All the other Houses have stupid colours. The Ravenclaws are blue and brown-like-shit (not bronze, though that's what the Ravenclaws would have you believe; Bella knows better). The Hufflepuffs look like damn BEES, how INTIMIDATING. But the Gryffindors are the worst, flaunting their supposed superiority in bright colours that cry out for attention and applause.

Bella likes her House colours. Green and silver. Colours of power, soothing colours, and strong. She sits up straighter in her seat and turns her back on the Gryffindor table, focusing instead on the calming colours of the Slytherin banner.

The House of the sly and cunning.

The best House.

Her House.

_2. Albus Dumbledore_

Bellatrix hates Headmaster Albus Dumbledore.

Bella's mother warned her that Dumbledore was a Gryffindor, but even without that knowledge, Bella would've been able to figure it out. Always giving out extra points to the stupid house of "the brave and the bold". Even Bella's own Head of House isn't so clearly biased when dispensing points.

Dumbledore seems to find any little thing that the Gryffindors do worthy of giving them a push towards winning the House Cup. Bella realizes it's harder for Gryffindors to achieve such simple tasks as not sticking their wands up their noses, but Dumbledore takes it too far.

"Mr. Weasley, 10 points for tucking in your shirt."

"Twenty points to Gryffindor for Ms. Goodley's clever use of the word 'perfunctory'."

"Five points to Mr. Matthews for not singeing off both your eyebrows while casting Lacarnum Inflamarae. Well done!"

Thankfully, Bella can destroy her fellow students' work assignments, kill their potted mandrakes and charm their quills to write obscenities in their Potions texts, thus losing them points and balancing the scales once more. It's only fair.

_3. Alice Goodwin_

Bellatrix hates being tutored by a Gryffindor.

Bella isn't good at Potions. She doesn't see the point in learning how to make something you could easily buy in Diagon Alley. Bella doesn't have the patience to cut and measure and weigh and stir; she reasons the only people who need the learn Potions are the people who intend to make it their life's work, and she is not one of them. But her teacher doesn't seem to share her opinion and will fail her if she doesn't improve in her work.

So Alice Goodwin, perfect little Gryffindor that she is, offered to tutor her. Alice, of course, does quite well in Potions, and in every other class. Alice is kind. Alice is patient. Alice is sweet.

Bella hates Alice.

She hates the way Alice gently chides Bella whenever she makes a mistake. "No, Bella, stir counter-clockwise" or "Don't add too many ﻿crocodile flakes, Bella, or you'll melt the cauldron!"

She hates the way Alice flings her hair over her shoulder every time she laughs. Bella's hair is long and tangled and always coming loose from her ponytail; Alice's hair is a beautiful dark brown, shiny and not tangled at all. It hangs just to her shoulders, framing her face perfectly. Her mother doesn't make her keep her hair long "to appear more feminine". Another reason to hate Alice.

But mostly, Bella hates the way Alice smiles at her. The open, warm, friendly smile that makes her feel like both telling Alice all her secrets and punching her in the face.

_4. Playing Against the Gryffindor Quidditch Team_

Bellatrix hates playing Quidditch against the Gryffindors.

Normally, Bella would love nothing more than to spend the afternoon hitting Bludgers at Erica Johnson and Sarah Ashby. But every time the two Houses play a match, perfect Chaser Alice manages to fly past Bella, leaving behind a faint scent of vanilla. Bella tries hitting Bludgers at Alice, but even she has to admit that the Gryffindor is good on her broom, managing to evade each Bludger Bella sends her way.

And when Alice catches Bella's eye, she winks, challenging Bella, and Bella rises to the challenge every time. She knows Alice is using this to her team's advantage, deliberately distracting Bella from the game, causing her to miss Bludgers that end up knocking the other Slytherin players off their brooms. Her team captain yells at her about this after every game, but Bella can't help herself; she can't let Alice win, even if means Bella's team loses.

And finally, finally, Bella is triumphant.

During their last game before Christmas, Bella chases Alice higher and higher into the sky above the pitch, clutching her club like a sword, periodically scanning the sky for anything to hit at Alice. When she reaches the Chaser and finds she has nothing to send flying her way, Bella instead grabs Alice by the shirt. The look of fear in Alice's eyes is intoxicating; she knows they are too high up for the referee, or anyone, to see them.

Bella wants to bash Alice's face in with her club, push her off her broom, snap her neck; a million options flash through her mind, each more cruel than the last.

Then Alice's lips part and she utters one word: "Please..."

Bella snaps back to reality. She releases the fabric, but lets her fingers glide along Alice's chest. She hears Alice gasp softly, and before she knows what she is doing, Bella kisses Alice.

It is fast, it is passionate, it is desperate.

The moment passes and Bella turns from Alice, flying as fast as she can back to the game. As she rejoins her teammates, Bella wishes she'd just pushed Alice off her broom. It would've made her life so much simpler.

_5. The Gryffindor Tapestry_

Bellatrix hates the ugly Gryffindor tapestry hung up beside the window on the third floor.

She and Alice like to meet and hide behind the window's large curtains on rainy nights. It's the perfect secluded spot where hardly anyone will find them, save a few lost First Years whom Bella doesn't mind pointing in the right direction.

The curtains are thick and red, but not the same ugly Gryffindor red. It's a more sultry, seductive red. Alice found the spot, and it's behind these curtains that she and Bella like to kiss and grope and bite and giggle and whisper silly secrets to each other.

But every so often the fucking lion on the fucking tapestry will roar, scaring the shit out of Bella every time. Alice thinks this is funny, but Bella doesn't, and pouts, which Alice thinks is sexy, and the kissing and groping and biting resume.

_6. Frank Longbottom_

Bellatrix hates Frank FUCKING Longbottom.

Frank the Handsome, Frank the Popular, Frank the Prefect, Frank the WONDERBOY OF GRYFFINDOR! Frank the man with his arm around Alice, HER Alice. Frank the prick who sends Alice love notes in class, who blows her kisses in the hall, who pinches her bum when he thinks no one is watching.

But Bella watches.

Alice may say it's over, may tell Bella what they had was all "just for fun", but Bella knows better. It wasn't over because it wasn't real, it was over because of Frank FUCKING Longbottom and his fucking perfect hair and deep blue eyes and the fact that Alice would much rather take Frank home to meet her parents than risk someone catching her with her head between Bella's legs in the Astronomy Tower.

Bella's never killed anyone before, but if she had the chance, if she could do it without Alice knowing it was her, she'd beat Frank FUCKING Longbottom to death with nothing but her fists. It is this thought, and only this thought, that keeps her going, that puts a smile on her face.

_7. Alice's Bloody, Bruised Face_

Bellatrix hates the way Alice looks now, her face all bloodied and bruised.

Alice stares at Bella, as if seeing her for the first time. The single white rose, which she had just moments before been holding out to Bella as a sort of peace offering, falls from her hand and lands soundlessly at her feet.

Bella stares back at Alice, watching the blood drip from her nose, the bruise already forming beneath her eye. Some of Alice's blood lands on the fallen rose, staining it a bright red, and Bella is instantly reminded of one of Alice's favourite Muggle books, one Bella had read only after Alice's insistence. Bella can't remember the name of the book now, just some random bits about a talking rabbit and tea parties and an evil queen. She remembers she quite liked the queen. For some reason, Bella thinks if she can just recall the name of the book, can simply say the title, Alice will remember all they had and will realize what a mistake she's making with Frank.

Instead, Bella's mind draws a blank, and she knows nothing will bring Alice back to her. She sees that Alice is crying, waiting for an apology. Instead, Bella looks down at her hands and focuses on how much her fist hurts.

She hadn't planned to hit Alice. She'd seen the Gryffindor heading across the courtyard towards her, the sun glinting off the engagement ring Frank had given Alice just the day before. Bella had heard the news about Frank and Alice from Jerod Parkinson, and had spent the rest of the night in the Slytherin common room, screaming and flinging curses at House Elves. She thought she'd rid herself of most of her anger, but seeing Alice again just proved how wrong she was.

A split second later, Bella's fist let Alice know there would be no reconciliation.

They aren't going to hug and laugh and promise to keep in touch. Bella doubts she'll ever see Alice again, truly see her and speak to her and be near her for more than a minute. And to her surprise, Bella has no problem with that. She knows if she and Alice ever cross paths again after leaving Hogwarts, it will end badly.

There will be tears.

There will be pain.

And Alice FUCKING Longbottom will wish she were dead.


End file.
